My Defective Mother


I was in my mid-forties before I discovered my mother was defective. Because she was all I had known, I had lived my life unaware that there was anything askew with her behavior, her parenting style, or her nearly constant negative comments. I bore the brunt of the disconnect between us. I knew myself as broken and intrinsically difficult, if not impossible, to love. If your own mother can’t find the good in you, how can anyone else?

I’ve spent the past five years in and out of therapy, working to overcome the mental abuse I endured for most of my life and finding a positive, life-affirming way forward. Along my journey, I found solace in the stories of other children of narcissistic parents. Those stories validated my own experiences and allowed me to feel normal. They gave me room to explore the possibility that I was okay, maybe even better than okay.

Writing has been a lifelong outlet and therapy for me. With this site, I hope to provide a refuge and a voice to others who have endured emotional abuse. Even if you’re uncomfortable with your story-telling skills, please reach out and share. As editor, I will assist you in recounting your story anonymously in a well-crafted narrative and help you drop some of the emotional baggage you’ve been carrying. Your words will resonate with others and allow them to feel a part of a bigger community of survivors. If you have found your way here, add your words to our narrative quilt. Let’s work together to find our voices and heal together.

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